Me, My Berks and Our Fate

I was on the phone last night with one of my berkada. We were talking for hours. She’s very upset after her bf for 2 years broke up with her. Listening to her is like listening to myself about a year ago when WT broke up with me. I just chuckled as I’ve realized that 4 of us, out of 5, in our all-girls berkada share the same fate when it comes to lovelife. Of course you know my story… Now let me introduce the other 4 one by one..

GA - my ever career-oriented friend. When we were in college, she was the one who would not cut classes. She was always the one who studies the hardest whenever we have exams. Consequently, she had the highest GWA amongst us, graduating with honors. After college, she was hired as an MDF staff along with law grads. Not so long after that, she had a bf who used to be a childhood friend. But after a couple of years, they broke up. She still loves him but she cannot accept the fact that he wasn’t as goal-oriented as she is. "He isn’t a go-getter," she reasons when asked why she kept herself from going back with him. Yet, she’s hurting.

REN - my pusong-bato friend. She’s the one who gets friends with people so unlikely for someone to be friends with. She seldom gets attracted to guys. She’s not as emotional as most of us. But by some twist of nature, she found herself a bf just some time last year. But right before Christmas Day, she broke up with him. Why? Because of this usual kababawan feeling we girls have (so weird that this bato friend of mine is actually capable of feeling common girls’ insecurities pala). And yes, despite her pusong-bato, she’s now hurting.

MM - this is the girl that i was with the phone last night. She’s the oldest yet the smallest among us. She’s the working-student way back in college. Despite having to work to support her studies, she performed well in all our subjects. She’s also active in serving their village chapel. That was where she met her boyfriend. While GA and I were already shedding tears for our lost relationships, MM and her bf were just starting with their then blooming relationship. We never thought that after a while, they will have the same fate, that they will have to break up as well. Sad part is, MM’s bf has a cancer. No need to say she’s hurting so much now.

OEN - luckily, we have Oen as saving grace for our berkada. As we have all said in a lot of occassions already, Oen has the best of everything. Like GA, she graduated with honors even ahead of us since she took advanced courses during summer. Perfect family, good looks, and yes, she’s the most well-off. Though she found herself a good job after college, she had to resign because her family opened a school which she’s now managing. To top it all of, she has a very ideal bf (so-so looks, stable job, very loving and loyal, what else could you ask for?)

Hopefully, Oen will not share the fate of the 4 of us. Para meron namang isang magtatayo ng bandera namen.

Looking Back to 2007

This is the time of the year when people write about their new year's resolution. I am no exception since I myself have listed some. Then again, it is also worth looking back to how things had been in 2007. For me, it was a very challenging year, or should I say, the most challenging year I have ever faced so far.

2007 was a year of loss…

It all begun in an event that happened just before the year 2006 ended. Because of that too-unpleasant-to-discuss event, I lost the 2 most precious friendships that I used to have. Sigh… Sigh… Sigh… But that's not the saddest part. What's more unfortunate was that I also lost the interest to bring that friendship back because a lot much uglier things happened as an offshoot of that. Whatever I hear now, I just shrug my shoulders. For as far as I'm concerned there were only 2 persons that deserved to hear my explanation. One was WT. The other one didn't give me the chance to air my side of the story and chose to believe only what she prefers. I believe I have done my part so I won't push it anymore.

Material things wise, I also had major losses. For one, my family lost a house. The place where I grew up and where I spent the 24 years of my life was brought down and we were forced to move to another place. Well, although we know that legally we have the right to stay there, we just chose to let it go since the amount of time, money and stress that that battle requires cannot be compensated by that small piece of lot where our house used to stand. I also lost my credit card by some up-to-now-unknown circumstances. The b*#^# was able to forge my signature and my card has been used to multiple transactions already before I got even aware that it was missing from my wallet. When I phoned the credit card bank, my credit limit was all used up already. It still makes me so gigil when I speak of how much that b@*#$ had spent so I won't be mentioning the amount anymore… To top it all of, the laptop that we had in the office, which was unfortunately purchased under my name was stolen during one weekend when (of all the weekends) the security cameras were all off. Although I wasn't asked to pay for it, still the stress that it brought caused me not to speak to one of my superiors for more than a month.

The biggest loss I had in 2007 was of course when me and WT broke up. I couldn't believe it has almost been a year now. I can still remember the blog I posted then saying how much I have lost due to that break up (see: joinme4awhile.blogs.friendster.com). More so, I could not also believe that a year after that what-I-thought-was-end-of-everything broke-up, we will be back in each other's arms trying to patch things up…

And so maybe it's also all about that. That no matter how much we seem to have lost, if we look at the other side of things, we have in fact gained some as well.

I may have lost two great friendships but I also gained several new ones. I now have constant companions during lunchbreaks composed of officemates from different departments ("The Lunchgroup" as we call ourselves). I also have the "Thursday Club", my constant companion now during weekday gimmicks. I also became close to co-employees in other branches, those that I have met during company activities I have actively shared part of. More importantly, I was able to revive old friendships with my college tropa as we now go out more often that we used to since our college grad. Bottomline, I gained a much wider horizon in terms of relationship with peers because of those losses.

Material wise, I got promoted. Higher compensation means I can now afford to pay the house where we've moved to. I can in fact buy more of the things I now want than I used to. I am actually even planning to buy a new laptop one of these days… (modesty aside… )

When it comes to my relationship with WT, needless to say, we have moved to a much mature level of relationship. I would just like to share some exchanges of messages that we had:

(Me to him on his birthday last August) - "we may have been apart in some ways for the past months… but come to think of it, our broke-up has actually brought us closer to one another as we now understand each other better, we've come to see our better side, we've proven that there are certain things that only you and me can give to one another…, we've humbly accepted our own faults…, and most especially, we were able to make each other feel special despite the separation…"

(Him to me during our supposed 3rd anniversary–grammar edited, hehehe) - "it's our day! Time is not what's important for me. No matter how good or bad our past may be, I will only hold on to what I feel for you. Though we may not be together officially, we can both vouch for that we are sharing now is special… promise to improve the way I'm treating you… you never left my heart and never did I remove you from it…"

So with that, I now say HELLO to 2008!

Panglao Island, Bohol!

 I spent my long weekend in Panglao Island. It feels really good to relax, live like you’re rich and think of nothing but having fun every once in a while. Several miles away from manila, a one-hour flight actually, is like endless freedom for yuppies like me.

It was my reward to myself for all the pain and struggles that i’ve been to this year. And the best part was that i spent my Bohol getaway with WT.

Despedida and the WoWs

Last night the whole B12 gathered together to have a simple dinner that also served as our despedida for our Mother Hen who just resigned from Aqua Comp (not the real name of our company). After several exchanges of messages, Mother Hen gave us 2 Words of Wisdom that we, as young professionals should always put in mind- -and in heart. I would just like to share to you what she said:

WoW #1: Deliverables, targets, TMSs, KRAs will always be there and meeting/delivering them will be as important as maintaining your employment to ANY company. However, when you leave a company, no one will remember you for how well you've accomplished your workloads, neither will anyone recall the numerous awards that you earned. People in the office/workplace will only be able to remember one thing and that is how you were as a person. In other words, no matter how committed you are to your accountabilities at work, in which there is completely nothing wrong about, you should never compromise your personal values. You may be a very professional manager/head/officer in the office, but you are still YOU- -a person. And no accomplishment could ever outweigh the relationships that you built with people that you may have just encountered in the workplace, but definitely have become part of who you are right now. Bottomline: Professionalism is good especially when the PERSONHOOD is intact, value your work but value yourSELF more.

WoW #2: No matter how much money you make now, it will never be enough to cover for your health. This one is simple and many may have encountered it already, yet we still need to be constantly reminded every once in a while about it. We work for a living, we do not live to work. So always put your health first before anything else that you need to deliver at work.

There are only two of them so hopefully, we will all be able to be guided by those WoWs as we go on with our yuppy lives.

One More Chance

I've seen the movie "One More Chance" last Sunday night at Trinoma and it was really a big hit. We needed to be there 45 minutes before the screening to find ourselves pretty good seats because only the free-seating cinema had available tickets for LFS when we arrived there several minutes before 7pm.

I actually went to the movie with my ex "WT" and without exaggerations, that movie perfectly fits our story. We couldn't believe how exacting the casting was to actually have certain characters represent the people in our very own love story.

There was one particular part in the movie where I cried because I was carried away by John Lloyd's acting. His acting was so powerful that I sort of remember how painful it was to experience a break-up. I cried, sobbed a little, the way I did when I was in that situation. WT (feeling kinda guilty maybe), held my hand and whispered "sulit na yung binayad natin, naiyak ka na e." 

After the movie, I asked WT what he can say about it. He said he find it just so-so because according to him, it was kinda predictable. He was looking for a certain kind of twist in the story for him to be awed by it. I think he prefer a not so happy ending for greater emotional impact.

But for me, the movie, having an ordinary story as what we often experience in real life, was very good for that very same reason that it is ORDINARY. People who have watched it cried with the characters and were touched by the lines because they could relate to it– because it was not so out-of-this-world. And of course, we Pinoys would always prefer a happy ending.

WT and I now often joke about the lines that we picked up from the movie that sort of applicable to us. And maybe that's how it really works. Its very hard to go through that break-up stage, but once you get over it, you can actually look back to what you've gone through, smile and praise yourself for being strong enough to have survived it.

I may sound a little too idealistic at this point but who knows, my "happy ending" may happen soon as well… (JINX don't you ever come near me!)