Home » Archives » 06. July 2008
"Pseudo Relationships" - are they really the "in" thing or simply the way to go these days?
July 6, 2008A friend recently forwarded to me an email about pseudo relationships and why they exist… I sort of able to relate myself to what the author of that email was saying because I am currently in one of those pseudo relationships. According to that email, that kind of set up exists because of the following major reasons (or a combination):
1. Two people are in love with each other but they both know that they are not yet ready or mature enough to handle a relationship. Hence, they just go with the flow without committing to a relationship.
2. Two people feel something so special with one another, they enjoy doing things together, love spending time with one another, but neither of them is brave enough to talk about it .
3. Past lovers, who after breaking up might have tried to be with other people, but after sometime realized that those relationships won’t work either, ended up doing things as they used to when they were still lovers minus the commitment thing. Probably so as not to let their past mistakes ruin the same relationship or because they too aren’t still sure whether they really want to be back in each others’ arms or they simply can’t find their true love that for the meantime, they can do with what used to work in the past.
My situation would obviously fall under the third one. Pseudo relationships can probably be considered as a very practical set up given those situations mentioned above. Practical in the sense that you can be happy without sacrificing your other priorities. But like in any other more “common” relationships, pseudo relationships would only come across as the best option if both parties are in the same mind frame–more aptly put, same emotional stability or instability.
In other words, if it is a mutual choice, well and good, win-win. However, if this set up is a choice for one party alone and the other party is wishing for something more, then it becomes a win-lose situation. The pseudo relationship then becomes a source of more heart breaks, disappointments and sometimes false hopes for the losing end.
Then again it will always be a choice, and each person would always be entitled to his/her own choice. Only in the course of choosing, we sometimes let ourselves continue to grieve at the losing end. Clouding the darker side that we might end up being junked and still rejected in the end, by choosing to look at the silver lining that there could still be a chance that what we’re aching for will be given to us. Again there goes the false hope that no matter what, it will always be a happy ending, it will still be a “happily ever after”.


