I’m so into you…

When you left, my entire world was shaken… I stopped dreaming, I lost my direction… I cried so hard each night, I cursed you and I wished then I never have let you enter my life… I tried to forget about you, but laughing became just instantaneous joy… For your absence made it so hard for me to find true happiness…

We used to be together… Now we are in this some sort of pseudo relationship… And here are my thoughts: 

What if you think you already find the man you would want to live the rest of your life with, but he happens to be the man who will hurt you forever?

What if you love this person so much, but he always makes it hard for you to trust him?

When he says he sees his future with you as his wife, would you believe him even though he refuses to have a commitment with you now?

When you love a person so much that it already hurts, should you still hang on?

When the girls you get jealous of, including his ex, are still in constant communication with him like chat every night or text every day, is it normal for you to feel bad? Are you in the position to question him?

What if you are so willing to leave everything behind and forget all that he has done, but he still wouldn’t want to stop his "sideline" activities, are you becoming so stupid if you stick around still?

What if he reasons out that he just wanted to try all the "playing" now so he wouldn’t have to cheat on you when he finally decided to get serious with you, would that be enough reason for you to take every pain he would cause you now?

What if you really love him that you’ve accepted all his excuses for that one chance of being with him at the end, but he admits he’s willing to take the risk of losing you as he plays around?