Fencing Basics

 I can still remember our first lesson when I took up my fencing class in college: advance and retrieve.

The first step to offense is advancing while the first arm of defense would be to retrieve. If you are to be good in fencing, then you've got to master when to use which. In order to score, you will have to advance and ensure that you've got the right-of-way (this is a fencing term which refers to holding the offense status, if you are to apply the term for instance in volleyball or badminton, the team who does the serve has the right-of-way. But then again in fencing, there are ways to gain and regain the righ-of-way). On the other hand, if your opponent is the one who has the right-of-way and efforts to regain it have failed, then the best option in order to defend yourself would be to retrieve. This way, your opponent will not be able to score against you and you will have even more chances of regaining the right to score.

Now I've realized that the basics of fencing can also be applied in relationships. I always say that I know how to choose my battles and I only choose those that I can surely win. But then again, sometimes when you're too much into fighting for something that you think you cannot afford to lose, your rationality becomes a major disappointment. After 8 months of insanity, i confronted myself last night and accepted the fact that this is the point where I should retrieve.

About 8 months ago, my then boyfriend broke up with me and a month after that, he started to see this new girl. I was such a loser that i kept on hanging out with my ex in hopes that i could bring back his feelings for me… After months of trying to be as stupid as i can and pretending i am happy despite the situation, i finally accepted the fact that this is one of those battles that i shouldn't have fought with in the first place. And it's not because of the slightest possibilty of winning, but because i do not have the righ-of-way to begin with.